A letter to My 40 year old self

Hello Beautiful Lady,

Tomorrow you turn 40, and let me start by saying I love you so much.  Remember when you were 22 and you were sure that the next few years were going to be the best of your life, you were wrong. Sure you were skinnier and had less wrinkles on you face.

  But, I want you to tell the truth were you really happy? I know the answer ...no you weren't ...you were lost.  I am not going to argue that you had fun because boy did you!! You were fearless! You also didn't know yourself, not your authentic self, you had let people warp your view of yourself.  Losing your mom had sent you careening as fast as you could go down life's road.  You just wanted to LIVE and so you did.  

And tomorrow you turn 40 this is major for some people.  Have you found yourself looking in the mirror, studying every line and wrinkle....grimacing at the fat on your arms or the size of your ass?  Of course you have ...you are human and as a woman you have been brainwashed to believe that you would be happier to be the size 4 or 6 that you were back then.  But please my lovely, consider this....this body, that some days you don't want to look at, has gotten you to here.  It carried you down that road, it put up with the partying and the abuse and if you are honest while a bit bigger, it is healthier now than it was then.  Now it runs 3 to 6 miles a day....it does yoga and it bikes up to 10 miles in a day.  It has given you this.....

It has done this 3 times

It did this

and it is still looking pretty good

So I just wanted to say you are beautiful....you are healthy...you are loved...you are stronger than you were.....and it is just going to keep getting better. So smile and go out there and kick life's ass for another 40!!!!

me: NOW